Wednesday, May 18, 2011
DOOM IS NIGH, but my face is flawless.
Hi, friends! It's been a while, hasn't it? I've been busy updating I Eat, learning the ropes of giving foodie tours, and running, so DTR hasn't gotten much love. If one were to create a visual representation of this blog and its response to the lack of attention it has received, that representation would be a picture of all the plants I've allowed to die during the last year. Or something.
But so anyways, LAZINESS ASIDE, guess what? Judgment day is nigh! That's right: for those of you who haven't been paying attention to bus shelter ads, The Rapture is slated for 5/21/2011 -- a mere three days away. Are you prepared? Have you planned your last meal? Have you shredded every last page of your junior high/high school diaries so that future iterations of humans will never find those diaries and make fun of your now-deceased self? Good.
I'm also fully prepared -- just yesterday, I bought new mascara (Clinique High Lengths in black, natch) and also some facial illuminator. I've been plotting for months to get my paws on some of that stuff, and yesterday I realized that the world is going to motherfucking END -- if not now, when will I ever increase the dewiness of my upper cheeks/outer eye sockets?
Shopping under pressure usually raises my anxiety like whoa*, but Leila** set my mind at ease when she suggested I try Mineralize Skinfinish. Applied just above the blushline (who knew?), Skinfinish adds a soft glow to the normally drab upper cheek region. My days of having boring cheeks are OVER -- no longer will I have to rely solely on blush and bronzer to enhance my facial shimmer! Thanks to this product, a whole new area of my face can be radiant.
Seriously, though: how did I live without this shit for so long? I don't think facial illuminator even existed when I was Coming of Age -- we had to make do with old-timey cosmetics like rosewater and talc. I've only had Skinfinish for 12 hours, and I'm already thanking my lucky stars that a cosmetic chemist somewhere had the flash of brilliance to create such a product. My only regret is that I didn't jump on the Illuminator Train sooner; as it stands, I have only three days to enjoy the hell out of this product. In which case, I better get illuminatin'.
*And what greater pressure exists than trying to look good on the End of Days?
**Not her real name, but one that seems fitting for a MAC counter associate.